Last Sunday was the Superbowl..and seeing as I do not have a tv, I was looking for a place to watch the game. Well I heard that my friend, Nantina, was going to go to Brad's house to watch it. Well I barely know Brad, possibly had never talked to him before..but he was in one of my classes so I invted myself along. So there we were..watching the game, and Brad's neighbor came over to join us. He asked us (Nantina and I) our names and a little while later, where we were from. When I said "Kamloops" he asked what church. After my response he was like "Oh I used to know some people from there..uhh Amber Hodgkiss?" So I said," uhhhh that's me!" So it turns out that I met him in grade 10 at May Retreat. It was just so random. His name is Kodie..from Vernon.. he knows you Jim (if you read this)..he was in one of your cabins. Yeah so it was just fun and random.

Surreal-ness

I often feel like I imagine my past or maybe even my life. It all seems so surreal. Like things I’ve done or that have happened long ago or even just recently didn’t actually happen..like it’s some sort of dream. Being in school often feels dream-like. Am I actually here? Going to NB this past summer. Did it really happen? I have to actually stop and think about it just to make sure. All of my past “issues”. Do they actually exist? Did I really defile and devalue myself in those ways? Or is it some twisted thing I simply fashioned? Is it reality? Did I really stand up to that group of people for something I strongly believe in? Did that actually happen? Did I really love that person or did I just create those feelings? Did I actually work for a church? Me!? Really? Did my aunt really lose all her hair from chemo? Did my sister just have surgery to remove cancer? Is my Mom really sick? Am I?
Reality is an interesting concept..I'm so used to pretending things just don't exist that I almost convince myself that they don't. I don't become numb to things, they just simply don't exist...until one day when another non-existent issue comes up and I can't hide anymore. I can no longer pretend. I can not disregard or even simply accept things..I have to face them..and things just come out..but only until I can find a "new lid" to bottle them all in again..
Healthy? Probably not.
Yeah, that just got really personal, really quickly..but I'm going to post it anyways.
See Something in common with this and the letters Chantal? Reoccurring issue? Maybe lol

Could I

So something good about school is "Vespers" - tuesday night worship service. It's my favourite. Here's a song that I really love..just thought I'd share.


Could I - Kim McMechan (Vineyard)



Could I just sit here a while

Know that there’s nothing that I need to say

Safe in the knowledge that you know my ways

Love me completely, no need to hide a thing


Could I just stay here a while

Letting you melt away all of fears

I feel your comfort when you are so near

I’ll hide myself in this shelter you’ve made for me


Could I

Could I


Could I just kneel here a while

Doing what I was created to do

Bowing in reverence, I long to adore you

Willingly giving all that I can surrender


Could I just rest here a while

Letting you whisper my burdens away

In all of my journeys there’s no other place

Where I find refuge, strength for my weary heart

Something to Look Forward to..

I'm Coming HOME!!!! In just over a week I will be back for thanksgiving. Sooo if anyone has time and/or the desire to get together..we should!!! :D

Seeking Shelter

Well, here I am in Abbotsford.... So far things aren't great. My program has been changed (which they failed to tell me until after I paid) and I am suppose to be here for 5 semesters straight. Yes, that means no summer break. That was the start of the disappointment. Next, I found out that due to the changes I am not required to take many bible courses -I am only in Bibical Studies and Intro to Theology. My other classes are: Foundations of ECE, Creative Development, Child Development, English, and Observation (ECE). All which add up to 19 credits. So needless to say I am overly stressed and have never-ending homework. To quote the care counselor of the school, "Some people take 18 credits- but that's just suicide." Full time is considered 12. I already have no idea how I am ever going to get all of my work done. (According to statistics, the amount of homework time is approx. double class time. That equals just under 40 hours a week!! That's a full time job of just homework!!) So yeah, I haven't been really impressed with my school situation, but I am happy with my living arrangements. I am in "senior housing" which is like an apartment/townhouse. There are 4 of us, and 2 bedrooms so we share. My roommate Julie, and I lucked out and were assigned the larger one. She is from Ontario and is 21. The other two girls are Erin (26, Surrey) and Tanya (22, Latvia). They are all super nice and we all seem to be getting along well.
Oh I forgot..another thing that I'm not too happy with is the weather. All it does is rain. I heard that it rains a lot here but I really had no idea how much. So my hair goes all big and frizzy and wonderful..yeah not too much fun.
ANYWAYS
I know God has me here for a reason, I'm just not really sure yet what that exactly (or even a little) is. Maybe it's to make me put my trust fully in Him..or maybe it's to completely break me..
Well I think that's it for now..sorry it was so negative. I appreciate prayers if you feel so inclined.

New Brunswick

My trip so far has been alright. I desperately miss my friends, my girls, my preschoolers, my church...I don't know how I'm going to survive going to Abbotsford in the fall..but God knows what He's doing.

So St. Andrews is quite uneventful. Most of my free time I spend walking the town (which doesn't take long), scanning the beaches when the tide is out, or down on the wharf watching the jellyfish, crabs and starfish. I do love being close (or on) the water - looking at the sea life and breathing in the fresh ocean air. It's peaceful and refreshing. At night, I usually go for a drive to look for raccoons. Last night I finally saw some. I was pretty excited. Hopefully I got a picture..Have to wait and see though. I've seen some deer and rabbits on my nightly drives, and quite a few porcupines. Chased after a few to try and get pictures..and no, they didn't shoot me with their quills! (Raylene lol)

I've been to two churches here. The Baptist and the Anglican. Let's just say that the churches here are a bit old fashioned..the sermon at the Baptist church was interesting..it was like a bible study, but it was good. The worship band was a piano player. The Anglican church, where my grandparents attend, was a small chapel. It was really pretty..stain glass windows and such..but so small that there wasn't even a washroom. I was, by far, the youngest person there..my mom, the next. It was a rather uncomfortable time and I didn't agree with a lot. There was about 25 people in attendance..and maybe 50ish at the Baptist. It really made me appreciate what I have in Kamloops. How welcome and free I generally feel at the church and within the YA group. I am really blessed.

For the most part I've kept pretty busy. My Grandma took us (my mom and I) shopping down in Portland, Maine for a few days and then to Freeport which is known for the vast amount of outlet stores. Needless to say, I spent a lot of money and really don't know how I'm going to get it all home.

Last week my Grandfather's friend took us for a boat ride. Had lots of fun..later on that day I took my step-cousin swimming at Katy's Cove. Half way between the shore and a floating dock, I sliced my toe (probably on a shell) so, not knowing how bad it was, I swam out to the dock to look at it. Well, it was a pretty deep cut and within seconds my hand (I was holding my foot) was literally covered in blood. It's a good thing the cove is gated off..I'm sure I would've been eaten by a shark otherwise.lol

A few days ago, my aunt took us to Deer Island. We drove around looking at the lobster pounds and the old buildings and then stopped at the point for a picnic. I saw the largest whirlpool in the western hemisphere and some porpoises. Obviously, the porpoises were the excitement of the trip. Today we went to Blacks Harbour and picked up sea glass..quite boring. Tomorrow we are going to Calias,ME for more shopping. Wednesday, my mom's friend is coming to town..should be interesting. Thursday, we are going to Kingsbrae Gardens, then to the Aquarium, and then whale watching. Hopefully we'll see something interesting, and I'll be able to take good pictures!!

So just over a week, and I'll be home..ready to go camping!!! So excited!!!!!!! And then a month later I'll be leaving again. It's pretty crazy to think that I'll be in Abbotsford in 6 or so weeks..it' so soon and I'm so not prepared..best not to think about it. See you all soon!

Thankful

Only 19 more work days until my job at the daycare is over. I am so thankful that people believed in me enough to offer me this job and I've been really blessed by working there. To be a part of this ministry has been amazing and I'm so honoured to have been a part of something where God has moved and seeds have been planted. It hasn't always been smooth. There were definitely trials throughout the year, especially in the last month or so, but God has used the bad times as learning experiences and I truely feel like I've grown. I'm a little sad that I won't be here next year to experience the many things I believe God is going to do within the daycare but encouraged to know that He'll be present.