Andrew's making me do this

2007-02-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday was the Superbowl..and seeing as I do not have a tv, I was looking for a place to watch the game. Well I heard that my friend, Nantina, was going to go to Brad's house to watch it. Well I barely know Brad, possibly had never talked to him before..but he was in one of my classes so I invted myself along. So there we were..watching the game, and Brad's neighbor came over to join us. He asked us (Nantina and I) our names and a little while later, where we were from. When I said "Kamloops" he asked what church. After my response he was like "Oh I used to know some people from there..uhh Amber Hodgkiss?" So I said," uhhhh that's me!" So it turns out that I met him in grade 10 at May Retreat. It was just so random. His name is Kodie..from Vernon.. he knows you Jim (if you read this)..he was in one of your cabins. Yeah so it was just fun and random.

Surreal-ness

2006-10-16T01:28:00.000-07:00

I often feel like I imagine my past or maybe even my life. It all seems so surreal. Like things I’ve done or that have happened long ago or even just recently didn’t actually happen..like it’s some sort of dream. Being in school often feels dream-like. Am I actually here? Going to NB this past summer. Did it really happen? I have to actually stop and think about it just to make sure. All of my past “issues”. Do they actually exist? Did I really defile and devalue myself in those ways? Or is it some twisted thing I simply fashioned? Is it reality? Did I really stand up to that group of people for something I strongly believe in? Did that actually happen? Did I really love that person or did I just create those feelings? Did I actually work for a church? Me!? Really? Did my aunt really lose all her hair from chemo? Did my sister just have surgery to remove cancer? Is my Mom really sick? Am I?
Reality is an interesting concept..I'm so used to pretending things just don't exist that I almost convince myself that they don't. I don't become numb to things, they just simply don't exist...until one day when another non-existent issue comes up and I can't hide anymore. I can no longer pretend. I can not disregard or even simply accept things..I have to face them..and things just come out..but only until I can find a "new lid" to bottle them all in again..
Healthy? Probably not.
Yeah, that just got really personal, really quickly..but I'm going to post it anyways.
See Something in common with this and the letters Chantal? Reoccurring issue? Maybe lol

Could I

2006-10-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

So something good about school is "Vespers" - tuesday night worship service. It's my favourite. Here's a song that I really love..just thought I'd share.

Could I - Kim McMechan (Vineyard)

Could I just sit here a while

Know that there’s nothing that I need to say

Safe in the knowledge that you know my ways

Love me completely, no need to hide a thing

Could I just stay here a while

Letting you melt away all of fears

I feel your comfort when you are so near

I’ll hide myself in this shelter you’ve made for me

Could I

Could I

Could I just kneel here a while

Doing what I was created to do

Bowing in reverence, I long to adore you

Willingly giving all that I can surrender

Could I just rest here a while

Letting you whisper my burdens away

In all of my journeys there’s no other place

Where I find refuge, strength for my weary heart

Something to Look Forward to..

2006-09-27T00:48:00.000-07:00

I'm Coming HOME!!!! In just over a week I will be back for thanksgiving. Sooo if anyone has time and/or the desire to get together..we should!!! :D

Seeking Shelter

2006-09-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am in Abbotsford.... So far things aren't great. My program has been changed (which they failed to tell me until after I paid) and I am suppose to be here for 5 semesters straight. Yes, that means no summer break. That was the start of the disappointment. Next, I found out that due to the changes I am not required to take many bible courses -I am only in Bibical Studies and Intro to Theology. My other classes are: Foundations of ECE, Creative Development, Child Development, English, and Observation (ECE). All which add up to 19 credits. So needless to say I am overly stressed and have never-ending homework. To quote the care counselor of the school, "Some people take 18 credits- but that's just suicide." Full time is considered 12. I already have no idea how I am ever going to get all of my work done. (According to statistics, the amount of homework time is approx. double class time. That equals just under 40 hours a week!! That's a full time job of just homework!!) So yeah, I haven't been really impressed with my school situation, but I am happy with my living arrangements. I am in "senior housing" which is like an apartment/townhouse. There are 4 of us, and 2 bedrooms so we share. My roommate Julie, and I lucked out and were assigned the larger one. She is from Ontario and is 21. The other two girls are Erin (26, Surrey) and Tanya (22, Latvia). They are all super nice and we all seem to be getting along well.
Oh I forgot..another thing that I'm not too happy with is the weather. All it does is rain. I heard that it rains a lot here but I really had no idea how much. So my hair goes all big and frizzy and wonderful..yeah not too much fun.
ANYWAYS
I know God has me here for a reason, I'm just not really sure yet what that exactly (or even a little) is. Maybe it's to make me put my trust fully in Him..or maybe it's to completely break me..
Well I think that's it for now..sorry it was so negative. I appreciate prayers if you feel so inclined.

New Brunswick

2006-07-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

My trip so far has been alright. I desperately miss my friends, my girls, my preschoolers, my church...I don't know how I'm going to survive going to Abbotsford in the fall..but God knows what He's doing.

So St. Andrews is quite uneventful. Most of my free time I spend walking the town (which doesn't take long), scanning the beaches when the tide is out, or down on the wharf watching the jellyfish, crabs and starfish. I do love being close (or on) the water - looking at the sea life and breathing in the fresh ocean air. It's peaceful and refreshing. At night, I usually go for a drive to look for raccoons. Last night I finally saw some. I was pretty excited. Hopefully I got a picture..Have to wait and see though. I've seen some deer and rabbits on my nightly drives, and quite a few porcupines. Chased after a few to try and get pictures..and no, they didn't shoot me with their quills! (Raylene lol)

I've been to two churches here. The Baptist and the Anglican. Let's just say that the churches here are a bit old fashioned..the sermon at the Baptist church was interesting..it was like a bible study, but it was good. The worship band was a piano player. The Anglican church, where my grandparents attend, was a small chapel. It was really pretty..stain glass windows and such..but so small that there wasn't even a washroom. I was, by far, the youngest person there..my mom, the next. It was a rather uncomfortable time and I didn't agree with a lot. There was about 25 people in attendance..and maybe 50ish at the Baptist. It really made me appreciate what I have in Kamloops. How welcome and free I generally feel at the church and within the YA group. I am really blessed.

For the most part I've kept pretty busy. My Grandma took us (my mom and I) shopping down in Portland, Maine for a few days and then to Freeport which is known for the vast amount of outlet stores. Needless to say, I spent a lot of money and really don't know how I'm going to get it all home.

Last week my Grandfather's friend took us for a boat ride. Had lots of fun..later on that day I took my step-cousin swimming at Katy's Cove. Half way between the shore and a floating dock, I sliced my toe (probably on a shell) so, not knowing how bad it was, I swam out to the dock to look at it. Well, it was a pretty deep cut and within seconds my hand (I was holding my foot) was literally covered in blood. It's a good thing the cove is gated off..I'm sure I would've been eaten by a shark otherwise.lol

A few days ago, my aunt took us to Deer Island. We drove around looking at the lobster pounds and the old buildings and then stopped at the point for a picnic. I saw the largest whirlpool in the western hemisphere and some porpoises. Obviously, the porpoises were the excitement of the trip. Today we went to Blacks Harbour and picked up sea glass..quite boring. Tomorrow we are going to Calias,ME for more shopping. Wednesday, my mom's friend is coming to town..should be interesting. Thursday, we are going to Kingsbrae Gardens, then to the Aquarium, and then whale watching. Hopefully we'll see something interesting, and I'll be able to take good pictures!!

So just over a week, and I'll be home..ready to go camping!!! So excited!!!!!!! And then a month later I'll be leaving again. It's pretty crazy to think that I'll be in Abbotsford in 6 or so weeks..it' so soon and I'm so not prepared..best not to think about it. See you all soon!

Thankful

2006-06-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

Only 19 more work days until my job at the daycare is over. I am so thankful that people believed in me enough to offer me this job and I've been really blessed by working there. To be a part of this ministry has been amazing and I'm so honoured to have been a part of something where God has moved and seeds have been planted. It hasn't always been smooth. There were definitely trials throughout the year, especially in the last month or so, but God has used the bad times as learning experiences and I truely feel like I've grown. I'm a little sad that I won't be here next year to experience the many things I believe God is going to do within the daycare but encouraged to know that He'll be present.

Unwell

2006-05-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

I use to like being sick. When I would get to stay home from school..and have my mom fuss over me. I don't like being sick anymore. I don't like missing work. Thats not entirely true. I don't like not getting paid when I'm trying to save my money for NB and CBC. And my mom doesn't fuss over me anymore. It makes me feel old.
I've been sick since Thursday night. Felt better Saturday night and went to church Sunday morning. Had a 4 year old throw up on me. Felt sick again. Was sick again this morning. Went to work anyways. Stayed for 20 minutes and then went home. Apparently I had the flu shot for nothing.

An update of Amber's life?

2006-04-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

Towards the end of March, I went to Seattle with some other people from my church to the "NorthWest Christian Education Conference". It was a pretty fun time. The conference was..educational. I mostly went to workshops that focused on preschool stuff (leading worship for them and storytelling). I also went to a few other workshops regarding JrHigh and one that talked about "the role of a man in a relationship" - and what we, as women, should be looking for. It was very intriguing.
Also at the conference was this crazily awesome guy that could play the guitar not only with his hands, but with his feet too!!! At the same time!!! I was highly entertained! While we were in Seattle, we went to the Space Needle. Now I was quite nervous about going up so high..and I wasn't feeling very well that evening..but up I went..and I fell over in the elevator.. but after that, all was well.
The city looked nice I guess..with all the lights and such. So yeah, the trip was fun for the most part. And I bought some "Whatchamacallits" So I was quite satisfied.

Last week was very stressful. A lot of family stuff going on..but everything turned out well. God is so faithful! I also went to Columbia Bible College for a "View Day".
It went pretty well. Everyone seemed really nice and such and the ECE program there seems good. So YAY!, I have to make huge decision very soon (if you didn't catch the sarcasm about being excited..well..catch it?) I am currently undecided just so you all know..but I am seriously thinking about it.

I got to spend some time with Teddy this past week too!!
I love my little Teddy Bear..when Mel leaves, I think I will go through Teddy withdrawal..

I hate this time in the year..when school ends. It means that everyone is leaving. I'm really happy that people such as Megan and Andrew aren't leaving this year!!! But really sad that certain people are...such as Melany!! I'm going to miss her so much!! My life shall become much less exciting..which is pretty hard to do... I straightened my hair tonight for a little excitement... yeah..Im super cool. Maybe the summer will be exciting.. My job doesn't run through the summer so, in July, I'm going to go to New Brunswick to visit my Grandma!! I'm pretty excited. And when I get back, I get to go camping with the YA Group!!!!!! YAY! I'm so so sooo looking forward to it. And maybe when I get back, a certain family will go away and I will get to live at their house which means TEDDY time!! Ahh things to look forward to..

M&A Creations

2006-03-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

Melany, we are AMAZING!!!!

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My weekend?

2006-02-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

I have nothing exciting or really interesting to blog about. I just feel like I should since I haven't for a while! Sooo..my weekend was alright. I was given hockey tickets for Friday night, and I made Andrew (#2) go with me. It was a good night. It turned out that the tickets were from his grandparents, so that was kinda funny. Blazers lost. So that was GREAT!
On Saturday, 5 of us from the Young Adults group helped someone from our church reorganize her storage unit. It was a little (or a lot) cold but nice to be able to help someone out. Saturday night was "Games Night". Spoons, sadly, was not played..but "Extreme" Dodgeball was. There were tables and other random items set up as "bunkers". It was pretty fun. I really think we need to play spoons soon though. I want the medal back!!!!

embrace the pain

2006-02-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

Sooo, I'm about to go update my "msn space" with pictures from thursday night (Young Adults)...there's some gooders so go check it out!!!! NOW!

Oh by the way..I had a good day (not just okay..good!) I went tubing with all the kids from the daycare. It was super fun. And I hate to say it..but I was the most popular one there...all the kids wanted to go down the hill with me..even some non-daycare kids. Why? Because I'm super cool and super fun!!! ..and because I whipped the kids around while we were going down the hill. My arms are a little sore..but you know what I say, "embrace the pain!"

Valentine's Day..

2006-02-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

So I walk into "my" office today and there, sitting on my desk, is a lovely vase of red carnations and a cute little teddy bear along with a card that reads, "Happy Valentine's Day Amber! Love Your Secret Admirer xxoo" It was soooo sweet. Definitely made my day. Such a nice feeling...to be loved and admired....

..but is it weird to get flowers from your ex-boyfriend's little sister???....

blame Andrew

2006-02-13T23:29:00.000-08:00

So...Andrew said I should be cool and blog...so I apologize now if my "blogs" get really annoying and stupid...just blame Andrew